"Why are you building a time machine? I'm right here. Just kiss me, dammit." --Jacob Chapman, as George Washington

Goal (which is dependent on the ability to control dreams):
Have a make-out dream about every American president.

One down, forty-three to go.

More snippets of dreamage

- Teaching Ronald Weasley how to pirouette.

- Killing the White Witch in a bathtub in a cheap hotel, in this totally gruesome battle involving giant pencils, spears, bead curtains, and fishnets. She wouldn't die and I kept having to stab her over and over and over.

- Befriending a talking pelican from London on the shores of a lake in Yellowstone, who turned out to be a man, and I had to keep tap-dancing in Safeway to keep him from turning back into a pelican.

- Beckah needing a costume to go to a party at our old Parkside Place apartments in Fremont at the last minute, so I suggested she go as a zombie. We ripped up the clothes she happened to have on, and then went outside and smeared dirt all over them. It was a great idea, except Oma and Opa pointed out that it ruined the only outfit she had.

- I'm friends with Zac Efron. I've been having dreams about this for weeks now. We've taken a humanities class together with our mutual friend Danny, and hid in a residential area from the authorities, who were mad that we stole a Little Mermaid poster. I keep thinking of adding Zac as a friend on facebook before remembering that we're not ACTUALLY friends.

Dream blur(b)s

Tuesday, July 14th: I was extremely pregnant, but still had until October before I was due. I started having what I thought were contractions, and had to drive myself to the closest emergency room, in Idaho Falls. I was really scared, but it turned out that it was just standard pain that comes with pregnancy (?). My mom, who turned out to have a degree in "Pharmacy" which I'd forgotten about, was the main source of comfort and stability...the voice of reason in my pregnancy-induced panic. [Look up "pregnant" on the online Dream Symbols dictionary--link to the right--and this dream is pretty neat.]


Wednesday, July 15th: Michael Jackson and I were hanging out in an LDS Church building with my family in Virginia. (As in from when my family lived in Virginia.) It was before he got super-dooper weird...he was frozen at around the time that "Off the Wall" was released. We skipped Sunday school because A) we needed to go to the Broulims Bakery to help a lady order a cake, and B) he didn't want to deal with all the publicity. We were really really close friends, and a lady in the foyer thought we were recently married, and we just went with it to avoid trying to explain that we weren't. It was difficult, because I knew and he knew that he was going to die soon, but I enjoyed being close to him while we had the time.


Thursday, July 16th: I was suddenly a contestant on this season of "So You Think You Can Dance." We were all supposed to act like I'd been there the whole time, and everyone (Mia, Nigel, etc.) was too busy to really sit down with me and explain everything. So I just depended on the cast. Jason and I got to be good friends, except one night he kept trying to kiss me. I finally let him, just to get him to stop, but then...I didn't want to stop. Except I did stop, because Twitch was in the room and he was clearly jealous. I'm apparently one hot commodity in my dreams.



Friday, July 17th: Dad and I were keeping a dinosaur egg under the old school bus that was in our yard. We knew it was a Tyrannosaurus Rex because of the rate at which the egg was growing, and because of the paisley pattern on its shell. About 4 days before the egg was to hatch, I panicked and realized what a terrible idea it was to raise a T-Rex. But Dad would have none of it. So instead, I planned a picnic at "R mountain" with my sisters, but we got distracted by the fact that one of the "winning youtube videos" in the latest issue of Newsweek was of some of my friends here at BYU-Idaho.

Make-out Mix-ups

Just a funny little dream. Beckah and I were on some kind of double-date, never mind the details, because I can’t remember them. Well, at the end of the date, the activity planned was “making out.” You know how you plan…meal, trip to the sand dunes, movie? Well, our date plan was meal, something, make out. Except when it got to that point, we somehow accidentally…switched partners, and I found myself snogging with Evan Kasprzak of this season of “So You Think You Can Dance.” It was pleasant for a few minutes and then I pulled away and said “Wait, hold on. I don’t think I’m supposed to be making out with you. You’re too short.” I turned to Beckah and her date, Jordan, but when I made the comment about Evan being too short, Jordan just looked at me like “So am I. Way to be sensitive about height.” Then I woke up.

Always get free texting...just in case.

I was trapped in a basement, where some bad guys had kidnapped and trapped the spirit of Spencer W. Kimball. And the only way that he could escape/be set free is if Addison or Jillian of the Playmill Cast of 2009 texted me. But I couldn't text either of them. So I was trying desperately to somehow "use" the spirit of Spencer W. Kimball to send them both telepathic messages so they would know they had to text me. Finally, Addison DID! It was something trivial and irrelevant to the desperate situation we were in, but nevertheless it saved the day, and the spirit of Spencer W. Kimball was set free.

This could be a film as famous as Casablanca

Ok... My dreams:

1. I dreamed that I was hiking up this snowy mountain. Suddenly I heard this terrible roar. I looked and above this snowy mound I saw a huge killer whale! It was beached on the top of the mountain. It opened it's mouth and lifted it's tail at me. I was so frightened but also really thrilled. SO I ran and called for help and called for anyone with a camera. And who came to my rescue? David Walker. He holds me and comforts me. We almost have a "moment" and then he looks and me and say, "So how does it feel to be attracted to a gay man?" And I reply with, "Like every other man I can't have."

2. I don't remember much of this. I do know that I was on a really tall tower and I had to jump off and an eagle would catch me. Then somehow I dreamed about pregnant dragons. To show that they were pregnant I showed the doctor used tampons which he opened up and and inside were another, smaller used tampon which clearly indicates pregnancy. 

I don't have a lot of time to sleep, let alone dream, but when I do... As Julia says, "I'd like to take a trip in your imagination some time."

Destiny

"Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the ocean desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them, you reach your destiny." --Carl Schurz

It's been a while since anyone's recorded anything here, but I've just had a couple of really cool dreams lately that I want to share. Nothing spectacular, or even particularly detailed, but they've been sort of big cues from the universe/the Lord/my own knowledge of myself as to my life, which has been awesome.

The first one was several weeks ago. I dreamt that I was student teaching at my old high school, with my friend Chalise Ludlow as my cooperating teacher. (I did a few shows with Chalise here at BYU-I before she graduated, and she currently teaches at Rigby High School about 20 minutes away.) It was a little nerve-wracking, and I remember in my dream that I had a vague sense of not knowing exactly what I was doing or what was going on, but knowing that I was qualified enough to do the best I could with what I had. I remember I had great students. I remember they were talented and quirky. I remember some of them were there because they wanted to act, and others were there because they didn't fit in anywhere else. It was a fairly realistic dream for the most part...I remember I taught a film class, an acting class, and a musical theatre performance class. The other parts of the dream that were a little less couched in reality were pretty symbolic, actually -- there was this whole thing about a train and trying to decide to take the train now or to drive around town for a while and catch another train later. (Journey -- get on the graduation train now, or just take it easy and learn for now, with graduation sometime in the future.) The other details of the dream are fading, and actually not terribly important. But I woke up thinking "Yes. Time to hop on that train. THAT is what I want. I love performing, I love learning, and I love BYU-Idaho. But it is time to get my degree." It was kinda cool to be motivated by that. And conveniently, even in hopping on that train, I still have 2 more years of learning, performing, and BYU-Idaho-ing. The example of Shanelle and her love for her kids at Kearns, and Chalise's passion for what she does, and that dream have reminded me of why I came here to this school in the first place...of what I want and why. I want to teach high school. I will learn and perform for my whole life. While teaching high school.



The other dream I had just last night. I dreamt that I was wandering around somewhere as part of some sort of performing arts day camp at a high school or university. It was pretty prestigious, full of proffessional-level talent, and now that I think about it, I don't remember exactly what I was doing there. But anyway. Someone stopped me and told me I was supposed to be in room blah-blah-blah to start choreography rehearsal. I dashed off, thinking that they'd made some mistake, either in choosing me to choreograph, or in not notifying me earlier that I was choreographing. I get to the room, and Mia Michaels is there, along with Thayne from season four of "So You Think You Can Dance." Mia Michaels was the assistant choreographer, which meant she watched my choreo and helped correct dancers where needed. Thayne was just one of the students. I remember feeling slightly intimidated, but more just surprised that Mia Michaels was my ASSISTANT choreographer. Intimidated mostly because I hadn't prepared anything, and had to make stuff up almost on the spot.



I still remember my choreography and it was kinda boring. But apparently more difficult than I thought, because everyone kept getting off on the counts. The number of students I was teaching kept building every time we went through the combination. Eventually it was so crowded that dancers had just enough space to do their moves. Whenever we stopped for a moment, everyone would start talking and I couldn't yell over everyone and was getting so frustrated. Finally, we were going over a jump on the first 8 counts...everyone kept jumping on "7" and having a little bit of extra time, because the jump was supposed to be on "AND 8." I was yelling over everyone, saying "Okay, just the last half of that count of 8, jumping on AND 8 -- ready, 5, 6, 7 AND 8." And hardly anyone did it. I climbed up on a chair and tried to yell over the din, until finally I got everyone's attention. I was furious. I yelled "Out of the 40-something of you here, know how many just did that jump? About 8 of you." Everyone started quieting down. There were a handful of girls who had gone to their bags by the mirrors and were talking on their cell phones. I walked over and held out my hand, saying "Cell phone, please, give me your cell phone, you will get it back after rehearsal" and taking them out of hands without giving them time to say good-bye or make explanations. (Which is probably something I would do...I have zero tolerance for that kind of disrespect.) Then I stood up on the chair again and made this speech, and it was one of those things where you don't plan what you're saying, but as you're saying it, you realize how true it is. I'll have to paraphrase a little, because I don't remember the details, but what I said went something like this:

"You guys have SO MUCH talent. And I cannot stand to see you wasting time like this. You NEED to pay attention. You NEED to listen, you NEED to dance. You guys can do things that I will never be able to do. I love dancing, I always have. And you have to dance if you're going to choreograph. But I am not half the dancer that some of you are. I'm a choreographer. You guys, all of you could go on to do incredible things, to be lead dancers in the most prestigious companies, and to made a CAREER out of your dancing. I cannot do that. I never will be able to do that. So PLEASE, do not waste the gift that you have! It is a gift that others have longed for. I'm not telling you these things to be mean, it's just that I LOVE you guys, and I want you guys to be the best you can possibly be. If you're just here to have fun, you are in the wrong place. There is a place for that, but this class is not it. You are here to dance. I am here to make you the best dancer you can possibly be, but you CANNOT DO THAT if you are not paying attention in rehearsal. Got that? Okay, let's take it from the top of that first count of 8."

Everyone was quiet and the room had that subdued and guilty but newly determined feeling that always comes after a speech like that from a director. We continued dancing and then the dream shifted to something different about Bear Creek Park and sketches for a movie set. But I woke up from that dream with a strong impression of "Yeah. That's true. I'm not the greatest dancer. I could never do some of the things these people can do. And I'm almost 24. Realistically, I can't expect to begin my dancing career now. I can always look to improve, but I'm just not meant for the dancing big leagues. But I can still contribute. Just because I'm not Mia Michaels doesn't mean that I can't choreograph. And just because I'm not Thayne doesn't mean I shouldn't put as much effort in as anyone else." It was just cool...kind of a lesson learned/reminded.



Just lots to think about. =)

Scary...

I had this dream a few nights ago while we were still in Roatan. It is one of many that night, but it was definitely the most lasting.

I was living and working in some sort of Institution for mental patients or something. I was standing in a small room, wearing a white cotton dress, holding a bunch of keys. I walk to a door, and just as I reach it, it opens, and a frenzied looking man comes in and looks at me. He asks for the keys, but they're not in my hand anymore, and as he stands there looking at me, the Joker comes into the room. His face is white, but his scars are barely visible on his cheeks. His greenish hair hangs down to his shoulders, and he's wearing a kind of army green jumpsuit covered with patches. I was so frightened I backed into a corner and slid down the wall and sat there holding my knees to my chest. Then the Joker started talking, and bringing people into the room one by one, and he would kill them, and I would have to write on a white board how they died. Once there was an old man with glasses in a wheelchair, and while he was talking he suddenly started coughing and sputtering until he choked and died. Spittle was running down his mouth, and the Joker laughed and told me to write that down. I wrote, "choked as a good idea."

Then the Joker turned on the warden, and forced him down onto his knees. He held his neck and pushed his face down toward the floor and held a knife against his neck. He started chanting "I was an honest man" and other strange and horrible rhyming lines louder and louder in the warden's ear while I sat by. Then he had me put my hand to the warden's neck, and it was wet and sticky, and it came away red.

When the warden was dead, the Joker looked up at me and laughed, and I knew that he was going to cut my face to look like his, and just as he came towards me, I woke up.

I wish my dreams weren't so stressful...

I hardly slept at all last night, but when I did my dreams were very rushed and stressful.

I was on the side of an abandoned road, where there was a river with a couple of trees nearby and then a big hill with lots of brown grass going off in the distance. Behind me there was a huge semi parked, with two old wooden boxcars attached behind. I had my friend Lisa's baby with me (Jonas), but at some point I saw Melissa and one of her friends from school climbing the hill with Jonas. Then I had Jonas with me, and I was carrying him in one arm and I had another little boy in my other arm. He had brown hair, and he was probably about three years old, and he had silver braces with silver bands, and I remember thinking that that was weird because he was so young. I was following my friend Lisa over behind the semi when this huge steel robot man came out of nowhere and starting shooting at us with a futuristic laser gun. We ran to the last boxcar and went inside, and as Lisa was taking care of the kids I found a large laser gun on a bunch of old sacks and picked it up and started turning all these knobs and buttons to turn it on and make it stronger. I go outside and start shooting at the robot man, and at first every time I hit him he would flinch and squirm and cry out. When I stopped, however, he laughed and then I realized that he was just toying with us and that I couldn't hurt him at all. He shot at me again but I managed to dodge it. So then I pointed the gun at him and held down the trigger, and that seemed to work. He backed up against a tree, and as I held the laser to him he started to shudder, and then all of a sudden his legs got all hazy and then bent outward at the hip, and he dropped down and hid arms came in and he was small and roundish. He came at me again, and so I let go and held down the trigger again, and he moved past me and stopped next to the boxcar. It looked like there was some kind of thick nylon net around him, and the area around him started to glow and expand. I knew what was coming next, so I called to Lisa and we hopped into the boxcar and protected the children while the robot exploded outside. When we went back out, the robot was a small ball of melting metal, and somehow Lisa managed to tie it up in the net and then she threw it in the river. I watched it and it went a short ways, and then bounced up onto the shore again. I went over to it, picked it up, and threw it in the river again, further, and I stood and watched it float away. Though some part of me knew that it wasn't over yet.

Wow, sorry this is long. Only a bit more. So then we were driving on the highway in the semi, and I was in the last boxcar watching behind us. I looked up and suddenly there was a huge dead reddish steer flying through the air, and I knew that it was supposed to land in front of us but we were driving too fast and so it landed behind us. I watched it hit the highway and then roll and the other cars try to avoid it. So then right behind us there was a huge cement mixing truck, and behind that another semi. The semi behind all of a sudden started going really fast, and hit the cement truck so that the cement truck came and hit us in the rear. We managed to go faster and get away from them, but then a huge truck carrying gasoline drove right by us and sprayed us with gas. Then a couple of fire trucks went by and for some reason they carried gas too, and they sprayed us. I was really afraid because I knew that they were going to set us on fire, when...

We pull into this tiny tourist town, with lots of little Old West shops selling ribbons and post cards and taffy, and we all pile out and go into our friend Rachel's house, where she's just setting out tea and scones for us. We all sit down and I eat a bit of scone, wondering what's going to happen to us.

Then I woke up.

A dream I finally don't understand and rather abstract! Maybe we can analyze it?!

So of course I don't remember how his dream starts. It was Christmas time again and my brother had something really cool planned for me. ALL my family was over. I mean there were tons of people around my house. While I was in the kitchen I suddenly noticed all this haze covering our living room floor. My brother started throwing a fit because I guess he had hidden dry ice under a trap door (that doesn't exist in real life) and had it timed to go off Christmas morning as this big attractive way for me to find my present. 

Well I found myself in that trap door trying to fix something and noticed my present was not very well wrapped. The box said "DC shoes" all over it and peeping out from the edges looked like blue galoshes. I was only slightly disappointed because I already own blue galoshes. So I opened it up to see and in fact it was a black pair of DC shoes that were not very feminine. I tried them on and despite how big they looked, they were uncomfortably small. I thought, I bet these will look better than i think because nothing looks very good from looking downward on yourself. As I went to put them away so I could act surprised on Christmas morning one of my little cousins pokes his head around the door. Then another. Soon half of my family is standing there curious to why I'm getting into the presents. But my brother wasn't there an I pleaded that no one tell him. Then all my cousins were running down the stairs to the basement (and this is mostly weird to me) and I slapped my 16ish year old 2nd cousin, Victoria, on the bum. Then I climbed up the stairs and found my dad and uncle chatting with.... second look... DUSTIN HOFFMAN! I yelled that into his face. "That's an aggressive hello" he said with a weak smile. He wasn't particularly thrilled with meeting this kind of a fan over Christmas break so I politely introduced myself and left. I kept hoping that he would like me, or the house, or something. I figured he was friends with my uncle Danny. 

K this dream is long, I apologize, I will try and make it shorter. So... I ended up seeing myself as a young girl with really long luscious Ariel hair. She climbed onto a bus. It was like a home video but there were actual people before us.My cousins and i were all commenting on who had the best hair. 

Then I was trying to build a fire for my family with very little resources. They were all chiding me. I got really mad at my dad and tried to hit him but it's a dream, and that's impossible. So I tied again and ended up saying, "I want to hit you really hard."

I'm not sure how the fire worked out because what I remember next is that we were in a virtual world because we were all loserishly playing video games. I decided I wanted to stop playing and started to walk out and noticed that I was going to have a long wait because Davey, Hannah, and my friend from high school, Brianna, were ahead of me. Brianna and Hannah Merrill were chatting like old friends and Brianna commented on how pregnant she looked. Davey looked uncomfortable but somehow I knew he was married to someone else who was pregnant. Hannah did not look pregnant. She was as skinny as Jessica was during Caucasian Chalk Circle performances, aka skinny. Brianna had this cute mom haircut and was apologizing to hannah for treating her like a skank before she was pregnant. BUT the weird thing was that Hannah was NOT married. So I'm not sure how that worked out. But apparently getting pregnant had turned her around and made her a really good girl. 

Needless to say I woke up. I wanted to be mad at my alarm, but I set it so church music plays and you can't get mad a church music.

I just had a dream where I was fighting some black guy in a bar and grill becuase he was shamelessly videotaping my senile old grandmother and laughing.  Then I was trying to converse in Russian with Mexicans and all I know in spanish is where is the bathroom or how much is the handsome cat.  She said I was progressing.  Best dream ever.