Guess what I dreamed about...

That's right! House. Again. I haven't even watched in forever. Anyway.

I dreamed that I was part of House's team, and that he had left me some notes but I had to take a shower before I went into work. Which shower was apparently on the top bunk of a set of bunk beds. So I took my shower, and then I looked at one of the notes before stuffing it in my pocket, and it had a column of numbers on one side (four numbers, around 450, except that the last number was like 600-and something) and then another column of numbers next to it, about half each number. Except that next to the last number was the word Double, in bold letters. I knew that it had something to do with heart rate and that the last number was mine. There was also what seemed to be a rectangle in the top right corner of the paper, but then I remembered that it was really a kid's drawing of a house, with a little sun and a little fence. (It wasn't until later, when I was telling this dream to Melissa, that she pointed out that there was a picture of a house on the note from House. Ha!)

So then it switched to where I was wearing a school uniform (white shirt and navy trousers) and I had a backpack on, and I was running through a group of buildings. I ran up to this one building, where Bruce Willis (who had bright orange hair) was standing guard, but I said something to him and pulled open the glass doors and ran inside. The building was open and all white and silver, and there was a large sweeping staircase at the far wall and bulletin boards along the walls. There were a few people walking around, and some sort of really nerdy Shia LaBeouf was standing there watching me. He was wearing a white shirt and plaid shorts, and had these thick black glasses on. But I ran past him and there was this other nerdy guy reading one of the bulletin boards (glasses and orange plaid shirt) who looked like a combination of someone famous and the twelve-year-old kid from the weird British show I had watched the night before. He was rather tall, but as I ran past him I jumped up and kissed him and then kept running. He yelled after me, "Hey, was I supposed to kiss you back?" but I just yelled "Don't worry about it!" over my shoulder and ran up the stairs. When I reached the top I went into a two room office (one of the rooms was in front, the other in back) and I went to the back room where Kutner, Taub, and Thirteen were sitting. I sat down with them and I was breathing heavily because I had been running, but I knew that we had to talk about the heart rate thing. So then the nerdy guy that I had kissed came in and sat behind the desk, and told us that he had something that could slow our heart rates down. He took out some white powder and poured it onto the desk and I knew that it was some sort of drug and I was astonished that he would have something like that. He divided it up and sprinkled it onto apple slices and gave them to us all, but I didn't take one. I told him that he was crazy and that he shouldn't be doing this, and that House was sure to find out, but Taub, Kutner, and Thirteen all took a slice and started eating it. I told them that they should stop, and then House came into the front office and started going through drawers and stuff, and the others saw him and just kept eating their apple slices. I knew that they trusted me not to rat them out, because we all knew that House was going to come talk to me individually. I didn't know what I was going to do, and for some reason I kept thinking of nerdy Shia LaBeouf and how I had just run past him, and how he probably would have been a better friend.

Then I woke up.

Waffle Blocks, Outer Space, Encoded Driftwood, and Lennon/McCartney

I had this dream a few months ago, and it was awesome.

First and foremost, John Lennon was alive. Secondly, his partnership with Paul McCartney had been restored. Apparently the dream took place in the mid-80s, as both John and Paul were all middle-aged and mellow and domestic and lovely (those of you who know me will be able to imagine how much this delighted my soul). 

                                                                 Lennon, 1980

                                                          McCartney, c. 1984

Like all good literary and/or cinematic partnerships, theirs was one of constant banter overlaying a deep mutual understanding and affection. The nature of  their collaboration had changed a little, however. Instead of being songwriters, they were on a mission to save the universe from the Corrupt Bureaucratic Empire which held all sentient life under its iron thumb of censorship and stagnation. Their first order of business was to get approval from said government to rent a space-travel pod. The Pod-Approval-Giver guy (who was large and hulking in an overgrown warthog sort of way... I'm not sure if he was supposed to be an alien or not) was skeptical of their intentions; Lennon/McCartney's reputation had preceded them, apparently. But John and Paul managed to convince him by the fact that they were bringing their wives along. 

"See," they said, having turned themselves partly into giant replicas of those fat plastic waffle-block toys that usually came with a wheeled green base, ostensibly so that you could build a wagon or something, though every kid I ever knew just used it as a skateboard while pretending to be old and cool enough to actually own a skateboard. 

Anyway, John and Paul demonstrated the innocence of their intentions by becoming humanoid/waffle-block boxes and fitting themselves together with their respective spouses (John was red, Yoko blue, Paul green, Linda yellow). Somehow this convinced hulking warthog dude, and he rented them the Space Pod (a small spherical spacecraft, good only for travel within a single solar system). 

They shot away to a different planet very much like earth (I don't know if the dream started out in our solar system or not), where they hiked around in an awesome canyon-ridden jungle for a while before coming to the ocean and finding what they were looking for: a piece of driftwood. 

The grooves and crevices of this driftwood were encoded with Special Information which would enable John and Paul to defeat the Empire. They were the only people in the universe who were able to decipher it. There was a very cool acid-trip-like sequence where I was able to zoom in with my mind on the hidden code and see it all come spilling out in iridescent digitization. It was groovy.

Next scene was a big epic Space Battle. John and Paul manned the controls of their nifty new spaceship (a definite upgrade from the Pod), and I was aware that in this age, we had discovered that the fabric of space was knit together by a three-dimensional pattern of invisible energy threads, sort of in the shape of chicken-wire. For space travel, we had also discovered that the way to achieve maximum maneuverability was to tap into these energy threads. For example, the fastest way to turn around and face the opposite direction was not to turn around using your own power, but to move ahead along one of the energy threads and essentially loop around to your original position, twisting to face the other way. Anyway, this was the method of space-motion used in the battle and I thought it was cool and that I'd mention it.

As I say, John and Paul fought away, their complementary natures and abilities making them the perfect duo. I assume they had some sort of army under their command at this point, though that was never addressed. John was in charge of large missile deployment and overall battle strategy, advances and retreats, while Paul was in charge of reconnaissance, tapping into enemy spaceships' information systems, creating distractions and diversions, and occasionally acting as a sniper. I liked this because I think it's a pretty good reflection of their personalities and songwriting styles. John is interested in the big picture, Paul deals with details. John is straightforward, Paul is obscure. John speaks universal truths, Paul finds the universe contained in a seashell. John makes sweeping statements in his songs, Paul describes specific images. John says, "All you need is love," Paul says, "Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been." John says, "Well I'm lonely; wanna die," Paul says, "My hair is a tangled beretta." John says "Beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful boy," Paul says, "Picking up a mountain: Mama's little girl." 

I don't remember how the dream ended. I'm sure Lennon and McCartney, having already conquered the world back in the 60s, had no trouble conquering the universe together this time around. I loved every minute of this dream. It was probably the best one I've ever had.

Not a dream per se

But here's the latest "sleep-poetry" I've found.

I awoke a couple of weeks ago and found on a piece of paper next to my bed, the slightly illegible words:

"MY COMPUTER TELLS ME THAT I'M SEXY
BUT THAT'S OKAY
BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT."

Hm. Not sure what I was thinking about, or why that was so deep. But it's a keeper. Maybe I'll actually write a real poem based on that first line.

Uhhh...

Kay, so this dream was particularly weird.

I'm an elephant. That is, I'm wearing an elephant costume which consists primarily of a giant head, very simplified and cartoony, made from that stretchy nylon material which is usually used to make pillows stuffed with tiny beads. Like the Squishy or Shanelle's bizarre pink blanket. Only this one is bright turquoise. You see, I'm sort of only portraying an elephant (I experience most of my dreams at least partially as if they're a movie I'm directing), but I'm also sort of really an elephant. I'm not myself, either... I'm a sort of more grownup, smartass, world-savvy, elephantine version of me. I spend much of my time trying to get my limp, bead-filled trunk to behave organically and being surprisedly relieved that no one seems to notice my hand manipulating it.

Anyway, I'm called into my Boss' office. We work for some sort of high-profile, uber-hip and important company. She is blond, middle-aged, attractive in a totally un-frilly way. She tells me my assignment is to go find this other woman (a colleague of mine) who has gone missing or is playing hooky or has simply misunderstood her assignment... anyway, she's not where she's supposed to be.

"I'm sorry to call you in on your day off," says my Boss, "but who else could I send?"

"Who else indeed?" I agree, smugly. I'm an extremely competent employee.

"Well, enjoy your flight. You'll need to make all your traveling arrangements. She's in that place... oh what is it called... you know..."

"Right, the British equivalent of the Bahamas."

"Yes, exactly! But what is it called?"

Neither of us can remember, so we press a button and this huge sepia-toned holographic world map appears all around us (our office building is equipped with ALL the latest technology) and then I'm somewhere else entirely, having never found out the name of the place I was supposed to go, though I remember thinking in my dream, "Oh! I think that place is called Majorca! I remember the Dursleys mentioning it in Harry Potter! Pity I didn't remember that back at the office..."

Anyway, now I'm walking along a series of rooms which are a cross between train compartments and old abandoned Victorian manor-rooms. Beckah is there, but I'm still my elephant character.

"Hey, help me open this trunk," she says. "I think there are some Reeses Pieces in here."

We pry it open (it's rusty and covered in dust) and find, to our disappointment, a set of toys and hundreds of bags of those uber-cheap generic-brand peanut butter taffy things. Gross. We look at the toys instead, which are a set of tablets about the size of a pack of cards, intricately carved and painted to look like a cross between space-age robots and Native American totems. One of them (the red and green one) is the father of this family of tablets, and for some reason I find this utterly hilarious and start making up a game where the father goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night to take a bath in his big jacuzzi-style tub (suddenly I have a whole doll-house for these toys), and is found in the morning by his family, drowned -- and now they're not robot-totem-tablets, but rather ferret-shaped stuffed animals with long green algae growing all over them instead of synthetic fur. Why I thought this was a funny or appropriate game, I have no idea. 

All this time I've been (pretending to be?) an elephant with a giant stretchy turquoise bead-head.

That's all I remember. Help.

I just can't seem to get enough of House in real life....

In this dream, I had a huge crush on Kutner, and I kept trying to get him to notice me or something. We were on this train that serviced some sort of animal park or something, and we were in the "dining car," which was really just a big cafeteria. Kutner was sitting in a corner, and I was too shy to talk to him, so I went to the counter to get something to eat. They had a bunch of cakes and pastries in the counter, and I really wanted a piece of chocolate cake with mint frosting. There was one piece left of that cake, and for some reason I knew that I couldn't have it because they always needed to leave one piece in the counter, for display or for some other irrational reason. So I asked the lady if they had any more of the chocolate mint cake cooking or in the back, and somehow I ended up with a huge piece on a plate, surrounded by lots of pieces of banana bread. Somehow she implied that I could share with someone, specifically Kutner. So I put my stuff down and went over to talk with him, and I asked him if he wanted to come sit with me. He said that he couldn't, because he needed to do something with "them" (I assume he meant Taub and Thirteen) and even when I insisted and asked if he was sure, he declined. So instead I went into the bathroom, which for some reason was really dark, and there was an electronic map of the train and the park on the wall, and the little train was flashing where we were. That's all I remember from that part.

There was also something about me and the Lindsey's and some guys in suits going to the temple, and I was skateboarding, and then my board split and became two little skateboards, and I tried skating with those, but it was really hard. I don't recommend trying it.

Sweat pants vs Superman

I dreamed a dream where people would give up their sight for a 6th sense, well technically its still a 5th cuz you gave one up but whos counting. Anyways, you would sit down and these two knives or things that looked like the meat thermometers would swoosh up and stab you in the eyes. The wierd part is your eyes would still be totally intact, just void of color. Oh, and it made you evil. THATS RIGHT... evil. Then the evil ones would try and convince others to do the same. It was like some wierd cult or something. Anyways then my dream derailed and I was sitting in this posh black leather couch as it toured some museum-like retail store that rivaled the style of Telepopmusik's music video "Another Day" (which I adore btw), but anyways the couches stopped and I tried to find the right size of hot black underwear and of course all they had was XL. Sad. Right, so apparantly I could emit an electrical surge to obliterate any information on this now evil retail stores computers. So I do and of course they were none less than IRATE about this. So I'm on the run now as these agents are running after me and oh, I can also now run through walls. I still am in danger though as these agents have underground tunnels that are connecting every building in the near vacinity so I go up the stairs and double as a casual jogger. That's right friends, they never saw it coming and ran right past me. Who knew the super-powers were no match for sheer wit. Sadly, I woke up in mormon underwear and I couldnt emit any sort of electrical surge.

Pop!

I can only remember part of this dream.

I'm arguing with Annie about wether it's "black" or "African American." We're in my house in the breakfast room/kitchen. A light is behind her and the bulb blows out. When it does, half her head disappears!!! Then she excuses herself, moves out of view and I hear the sound of a bubble popping. She comes back with her head fully inflated. I didn't see it, but I understood that half her brain and skull was gone but she could blow with her mouth closed and nose plugged (like you do when you want to pop yiour ears) and the other half of her head would just inflate so it looked normal!!!